So here I am, back at it again. This time, though, with a more positive outlook on life… Most of the time. I’m currently sitting on my couch, green juice ready to be consumed listening to the birds sing in the sunshine. And that’s all I can hear… the rest is still silence while my fingers tap along the keyboard in an attempt to get out what I’m trying to say. If you had have asked me a year ago where I would be today, this wouldn’t have been it. I’m in the best place I could be and more confused than ever. Life is such a funny gift, it gives you what you need, and so long as you are paying attention, you have the ability to do anything with it. This year I have found myself loving more, doing more, eating more, caring more and being more. And now I’m here to document it.
I’ve always been independent to a fault, always doing things on my own, refusing help and, for the most part, living the solo apartment dream since I was 17. I swore up and down that if I ever found someone I was going to materialize a forever with, he would have his own apartment. If that wasn’t an option then he would have his own bedroom, bathroom, clean up his own mess, give me my space when I needed it (minimum 20 hours a day) have his own hobbies, friends, and life that included me only sometimes. I was apparently a cat in a past life. I didn’t believe real true love existed or that my long list of “The Perfect Man” was ever going to come around…
Then…. I fell in Love.
And my entire world turned upside down and around for the better.
Fast forward nearly 8 months and we are now living together. ( I know, quick, right?) We often joked when we first started dating that his apartment 2 minutes north and 3 minutes east of mine was too out of my comfort zone, and thus, I never saw his place and he pretty much moved in to mine a mere three months later. And now… Now we are living WAY out of my comfort zone, and it is such a sweet sweet thing. I’m learning daily what it’s like to be a couple while still maintaining my independence. Dancing a dance that is harder than people make it out to be, making decisions that include two people not just one, doing things differently than I’m use to because it turns out I’m more eccentric than my brain led me to believe. We juggle how to see each other as often as possible with his 9-5 and my… very unpredictable work schedule.
On top of learning how to be me+1, I’m in a constant battle of perpetuating a healthy lifestyle. I want to eat Kale and Quinoa all day long, I want a green juice three times a day, I slather myself in coconut and avocado oil (depending on the day), I long to be able to twist my body into Scorpion Pose while standing on my hands and then go for a 10 km run. I’m pretty hard on myself about the fact that I don’t meal prep every Sunday like I would like to, that I enjoy having delicious pizza more often than I care to admit and some Saturdays (or Wednesdays, whatever) I like to indulge in some wine. Truth is, I’m human and I’m trying to find a balance in this life. I’m generally an all or nothing person, doing things too extreme or not at all and wishing things will be different. I’m a dreamer and I’m learning how to be a doer no matter how scary it might be.
I’ve recently (as in yesterday) challenged myself to 30 days no Social Media***. Facebook and Instagram only. I’ve been finding myself getting lost in a false reality daily, comparing my life to those I don’t even know in pictures I didn’t take in places I’ve never been. I feel with the influx of social media these days, I’m missing out on some vital pieces of this world and not exploring to my hearts content. It’s one of many small changes I need to make in my life, but with the hour or two that passes me by with my nose in my phone, I can hopefully twist my body into those poses that look painfully uncomfortable, juice more green things than I knew existed and meal prep my lil self away. I believe there are more hours in the day than I am allowing myself to be a part of. I assure you this journey will be an exciting one and if nothing else you can laugh at me while I try to coax my boyfriend into going vegan.
***I will need a place to post my new BFF and can do so without actually going ON Facebook, so if you see it, I wasn’t reeaaalllyyy on it.